God45
#PrayersForBahakan
- Joined
- 23 Oct 2012
- Messages
- 18,525
Fast när han leder Thunderbolts och sedan Dark Reign var ganska sweet.
Always the same. I have to do everything myself. Typical. Can't rely on anyone these days. All too busy reading about dying pop stars and Iron Man's pants...I always knew it'd come down to this. I always have to be the man. Good old Norman Osborn. He'll bail us out. He'll save the day. He'll be the hero. Norman will make the hard choices. Norman has no feelings. Norman will make the girl pregnant and then snap her neck in public. Norman won't mind. Norman will do what it takes. Norman will take care of everything, don't you life a damn finger to help or, God forbid, do your damn job...
There's a space monster and a mad swordsman loose in the base; shall we trust the huge security complement and the team of superhumans to deal with it? Oh, no. Let's make a complete dog's breakfast of the whole operation. So Norman has to clean things up. I'm a fricking martyr to my own innate heroism, is what I am. Norman Osborn, America's last hero. That's what I am.
One day I'm going to run this country. And do you think anyone will appreciate me then? Of course they won't. Of course they won't. It'll be, "Mister President Osborn sir, I don't have the strength to take out my garbage. Could you do it for me?" That's what it'll be like. "President Osborn, I'd love to be able to do anything competently, but my family tree looks like two sticks jutting out of a dead raccoon." Hitler never had this kind of trouble. People just did as her told them. Must've been nice...
I'm so glad I never washed this particular costume. Smells like death, blonds, and victory. Maybe this could be my presidential uniform. Do presidents have uniforms? I suppose not. Still, since I'd be the president, I could do what I like, really. I'd rewrite all this superhuman registration legislative junk, I'll tell you that for nothing.
"Are you a self-proclaimed super hero?"
"Why, shucks, sir, I sure am a regular guy in bad underpants who fights crime without understanding one damn thing about the way the world works, yes."
"Excellent. I send you now to a concentration camp where you will be sterilized, lobotomized, tenderized, and pasteurized. So says President Goblin!"
Actually, that's a bit more Doctor Doom, isn't it? Still, the idea's sound. Note to self: Give naked dictation more often. The ideas seem to flow more freely...
Now let's take care of business. And then, I think, I shall viciously beat some complete strangers at random. They're bound to have done something to deserve it at some point, after all.
Swordsman, Swordsman...what shall we do with you? Aside from kill you, of course. Of course I have to kill you. It's what the little people expect me to do. This is how I display my heroism.
...Back to work, boys. Best job in the world, eh?
