Ja och nej. På vissa sätt hade kvinnor defintivt en starkare ställning, men samtidigt bilden är mer nyanserad än så. Till exempel vad kvinnligt infantocide vanligt.gott om. Eller infanticide förkom och drabbade både flickebarn och pojkebarn och de drabbade kvinnliga spädbarn i mycket högre grad)
Sköldmöer är definitivt ingen myt. Det finns med på allt från lönelistor, lagtexter, i texter om bötesbelopp, gravfynd, historieskrivning m.m. Utöver det så verkar kvinnor utöver regelrätta sködmöeer kunnat ta till vapen vid släktfejder både som försvarare och anfallare.
Jag skrev en kapitel som berör de här området till rollspelet Sagas of the Icelanders. Jag är inte historiker, men jag reserachat ämnet så gott jag kan och hittils har ingen historiker sågat den totalt.
Viking love life
Let's dive deeper into Viking love life, because in order to tell these stories, it’s important to understand the gender roles of the sagas.This chapter is about free men and women. Thralls were seen as property and very little of what is discussed in this chapter holds true for them.
Marriage
Marriage was the union of two families, rather than two individuals, and was often organized by the families for economic or diplomatic reasons. Neither bride nor groom were “given away” to the other family, and after being married they were both still considered members of the respective families that raised them. Their marriage was an union of those families.
When a marriage was to be arranged, the future husband had to agree to the marriage, however male relatives made the decision for the bride. Normally the bride was asked for her opinion, but her consent was not needed. Forcing a bride into marriage was seen as ill-advised, but was nevertheless occasionally done.
However widows were an exception to these customs. A widow could not be forced to remarry, and neither could her family refuse her to remarry. Her family could refuse three suitors, but after that they had no say in whom she remarried.
In general women did agree to the marriages, because if the marriage didn't work out, they could get a divorce.
Divorce
During this period there was a gender imbalance on Iceland. Most of the settlers were men, and female infanticide was common during hard times. A woman of marriageable age was likely to find a new man if she divorced her husband, but only a rich man could be sure to find a new wife. This made divorce into a powerful threat for a wife to use against her husband.
Divorce was common and Vikings divorced each other much for the same reasons people do today: bitter and loveless marriages, sexual problems, economic reasons, cheating, fighting, infertility, or conflict between their families.
In addition spousal abuse was another reason for divorce. To slap your spouse was not only a personal insult, but an insult to their family as well. This was especially true if a man raised a hand against his wife, because violence against women was a taboo in itself. A man who slapped his wife could, at best, expect forgiveness, but not forgetfulness. At worst he would suffer death at the hand of his wife or her family. That might not even be the end of it, as a single slap could result in generations of blood feuding and murder.
As far as getting a divorce is concerned there were few formalities involved. If someone stated twice in front of witnesses that they divorced their partner and the reason why, they were divorced. Then the families had to sort out economic settlements and custody of the children. In general the woman had the right to her dowry, her morning gift and one third of any shared property. The man had his bride price returned from the bride’s family and kept two thirds of the shared property. The party wanting the divorce was penalized in the economic settlement, unless the other partner was to blame for the divorce in some way, in which case the guilty party had to pay a fine.
As for custody, toddlers and babies was always given to the mother. Older children were divided between the families, taking into account their ability to support them.
Love
The Vikings had a concept of romantic love. True love was something that could grow once you were married and had gotten to know your spouse. A consensual relationship of respect, passion and tenderness was the stuff of poems.
Some marriages that was entered out of love, but they usually happened later in life. Since both divorce and premature death were common many people married more than once. Sometimes, those later marriages were for love. Someone who had already been married was deemed mature enough to understand love, but also considered to have fulfilled their duty to their family through their first marriage.
Sex and attraction
Lust and sexual needs were seen as normal and healthy in both men and women. In the marriage bed, sexual pleasure was seen as important for both partners.
Also Vikings dressed to be attractive and to display their wealth. Gold jewelery, fine clothes and impressive craftsmanship were things to be displayed if you could afford it. Grooming and cleanliness was important for both genders, and a weekly wash was customary.
Moreover both men and women displayed their bodies as sexually attractive. Women could spend days wrinkling their dresses before a feast to make them fit as skin tight as possible, and wore big broaches and rows of pearls on their chests to accentuate their breasts. Men showed of their bodies trough competitions and wrestling at social events.
Even though sex was a common topic to talk and joke about, sexual insults were serious offences. Hinting at male homosexuality, bestiality or likening a man to a female animal was a deadly insult to a man’s honor. Accusing a woman of incest or unfaithfulness were likewise grave insults.
Sexual relationships outside of marriage
Unmarried men could have all the sex they wanted as long as it wasn't with another man, a relative or another man’s wife. Married men on the other hand could only have mistresses and bed slaves, and it was expected of their wives to tolerate this, since neither could threaten their social positions. Bed slaves were slaves, and mistresses were always women of a lower class who, due to differences in social standing, couldn't marry the man.
Unlike women who did not have the same degree of sexual freedom as men. It was a crime against the husband for another man to sleep with a married woman. Women rarely had sexual relationships before marriage. This was partly because women married in their early teens, but also because a young girl who became pregnant before marriage might fetch a lesser bride price for the family.
Althrough for poor women, becoming the mistress to a wealthy man was an economically advantageous position, but not a secure one. To retain her position, a mistress had to rely on the man’s interest in her, and if she got with child she would have to hope that the man was willing to recognize the child as his own and support it.
Everything else was gray area for women. Sex wasn't a sin, but getting with child outside of marriage could be problematic.
